Appear. Disappear.

The Filipino children's game called "Apir, Disapir" inspired me with this title. But the reason for the title is quite shocking. My ex-best friend called me last night (Well, technically, it was a quarter to 3 a.m. or something close to that).

It was totally unexpected. I mean, I was having a rough day! I got caught by the police for "Reckless Driving" or so they told me. Then before that, the electricity was cut for quite a long while. The electricity thing wasn't supposed to be a big deal, but the summer heat was killing me and I just sat down on my chair, then kaboom. It was a tough day. And God repaid that with this GIFT.

Actually, I'm not even sure if this is a gift. For all I know, this is a trap. He's luring me back to his selfish and childish ways. I was only starting to evolve. I was only starting to feel like myself again. I was happy, without anyone. I was truly happy.

But now I'm torn. I really don't know now.

It's against my principles to abandon a person in need of help, but am I in the place to help him? He's abandoned me for a year now, but every time he needed someone, I was there. He apologizes but it never changes. He never changes. I am fed up with it, but what am I going to do? I have principles. Principles that I value very much.

I know how this is going to work. He appears for a while, when he needs someone. But when he's fine, he's going to disappear again. He's using me. He's always been using me. He knows that I can't say no to a person in need of companionship, and he's taking advantage of that. And what's worst is that I let him. I shouldn't let him. I shouldn't. But I couldn't not.

I made a promise. A vow. I will live up to that vow however long it takes. I am a person who keeps her word. I will not change that because I have a weak spot. Better that I get hurt than somebody else. At least I know that I can take it. Other people? Not so much.

APPEAR... Apir... Dispir... One-half... One fourth... One fourth... One half... Dispir... Apir... DISAPPEAR...