A Horrid Dream.

A dream woke me up today and it is the most horrid of all dreams. I can’t put into words the emotions that fill my heart because it is unspeakable. But I don’t ever want to forget this. Memories and dreams are made to be remembered. They become a huge part of you. So I am blogging this.

I don’t know how it started, but it came to the point where my ex best friend and his girl friend broke up. He comes back to me, and I take him back like nothing happened. It was a surreal feeling. We were back in high school and everything was going great. People saw us, assumed we were just friends until a person; a person who is a good friend of mine in reality, tweeted about us.

I couldn’t even … The point of having the lack of twitter is to keep your life private. In words, it means, “The hell with you all. I don’t need people hacking through my daily life. Go bitch yourselves.” And when I heard of the incident, it drove me mad.

We were in a classroom and the end-of-the-day flag ceremony was starting to sing. Then I see him. I see the guy who tweeted and it broke me apart. Anger floods my head. And to make matters worse, he started talking about it, saying, “I don’t get it. She left him and now they’re back together? He left his girl friend to get back with her?”

The point here is that I am not public with my life, so who the fuck is he to publicize ours? Mine?! I freaked and charged after him. I shouted, “How dare you fucking tweet about my life?”

He staggers, “It was — I didn’t — I was just so shocked that he would go back to you. That kind of love is so strong. I was just surprised that it existed.”

That fucking reason wasn’t good enough. I mean, why?! Really?! This was a dream, why couldn’t my brain have thought of something more creative?! So I continued to flip, “I don’t care. You don’t have the fucking right to do so. And by the way, before you make assumptions and tell on it, make sure you had the story straight. He fucking left me! Now, piss off, asshole!”

Now, this part I remember so well. I feel the teachers starting to react to our encounter and I didn’t want to get in trouble. I looked over my shoulder to my ex-best friend and saw his reaction. He was angry. So, I dashed to the classroom. What’s strange was that in this dream, I somehow left school. I think I was sick or something. It was weird. It didn’t have time to ask about that.

I got to my classroom and the teacher welcomed me in. I took a seat and then it hit me. He’s not back. That look he had. Something’s not right. I quickly got up and looked for a person to confide who would also take a beating with him. I murmured to him, “I think (name) got into a fight. You need to help him.”

Strange enough, our teacher who was sitting among the students’ chairs stood up and asked, “What are you talking about?” I hesitated. “Who got into a fight?”

My heart broke a little when we started hearing shrieks. All our heads turned to the corridors and see many guys ganged up and kicking a man on the floor. The wall was covering who was taking the beating but I already knew. When the man kicked my ex-best friend over the opened door, it confirmed my suspicions. I looked at my teacher in alarm. He doesn’t look shocked at all, “There’s nothing we can do now.”

All that I was able to think was ‘Fuck!’ It felt so real. SO REAL. I wanted to cry. I quickly ran to where the fight was and got in between the guys who were kicking and the guy on the floor. All I could do was get in between. I was in shock. I didn’t know what else to do. Our teacher decided now to be a prick and all I could do was stop the fight. I helped my ex-best friend get up from the floor, and we both face the crowd.

Then everything went blank.

I wake up shivering in my sister’s cold room. That was when it hit me that it was just a dream. Reality is, it isn’t that cold in her room. It was the adrenaline pumping through my body that made me feel that way. Then I couldn’t sleep. I was wide awake already. I fell asleep last night half past 2 a.m., so waking up at 6 a.m. wasn’t an option. But I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to sleep.

I sat up and thought. What is the purpose? Why did I have that dream? I wasn’t even thinking about him the day before. I wasn’t thinking about him at all. So why? I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do. I kept thinking… and thinking… I promised myself not to meddle in his life anymore. I told myself that I was done with him.

But my subconscious mind is only as keen as my conscious mind. So when a dream like that happens, it has to mean something. It is a stepping stone. Whatever first step it was didn’t matter. It means something. That’s my principles. So I broke my promise and texted him. He hasn’t reply yet and it’s scaring me. Has something bad happened to him? What happened?! I don’t know. I have to wait. (sighs)