And again.

So... there. Just want to give you guys another update on what happened with the guy. It's strange. It's like he's just playing with me. Playing with my emotions and me. Why does it feel like that? As Filipinos would call it, "PAASA".

That's what I feel about him. Because he would tell me sweet things, but at the same time, he would just suddenly disappear. Disappear and not give any warning or reason why he'd disappear. Right now, it's even come to the point that I couldn't contact him. I couldn't call him. He doesn't reply to my Facebook messages (well, to be honest, Facebook says he hasn't been online). But it's just weird! He promised he'd give me his picture or meet me, but he never did. He told me he'd call me, but he never did. He told me he'd text me, but never did. Things that he used to say makes it hard for me to believe that he's even sincere. That he's even real.

What if I'd been imagining him all this time? What if I've been hallucinating all of this? What if there wasn't even a him to begin with? I like him. I really like him. But I don't even know him. I don't know him, but I want to know him. But I don't think I'm going to be given the chance to know him. He's gone. He doesn't text, or call. It's been two days. And I'm kind of freaking out. Did he get in a car accident? Is he okay? Is his mom okay? I'm tired of being the first one to take the step. I'm tired of being the one to initiate. But I like him. And I feel bad, because half the time, he's the only thing in my mind. But yet... it's like he's not even real.

"Paasa ka lang pala."