Social Anxiety.

It's taken a while for me to finally write about this. And some part of it is because it's only lately that I've actually been comfortable enough to talk about it and accept it. And lately, mostly, it's been good. I've been good. I've been good with keeping up with my life and being flexible and ignoring all the thoughts — even suppressing them in a very healthy way.

But it doesn't just go away. It never does. And it never will.

As my good professor once told me, you are sometimes born with it, or you develop it as you go through life. And once you get it, it doesn't just go away. There will be days when you are able to manage it. Days when you feel like you can take on the world. But at the end of the day, it doesn't go away. You will live with it all throughout your life until the day you die.

It's not fun. I mean, how can it be? Anxiety is one of those things that takes over your life when you least want it to. Sometimes it happens in circumstances when you really want to be your best self, but you couldn't because your anxiety is getting in the way. Most of the time, it's hard to live in the way that you want when there are so many restrictions in your life. Restrictions that you never asked for and never wanted.

Having social anxiety is like having the whole world against you. It's like having everything in your life restricted by your assumption of what other people might think of you. Personally, it's one of my biggest struggles in life. I've struggled with it my whole life. I've had it since I was a little kid, I think? From my recollection, I've had it since I was in elementary school; I noticed it when I was in high school; and I understood it only when I was in college. Even until now, I couldn't say that I understand it 100% to the point that I could live with it and not struggle.

I have struggles. Every second of the day. It's so difficult to the point that I couldn't even function properly. I just shut down. This happens most especially on days when I feel overwhelmed. The thing about social anxiety and dealing with social anxiety is that as much as you try to manage or take control of it, it will eventually comeback and bite you in the ass. Hard.

Some people don't even know or recognize that social anxiety is a thing. Some people think it's just "shyness" or something like that. It's really not. It's a serious thing. And it hurts me to believe that some people don't take it seriously, because it took a serious toll in my life.

Being in psych definitely helped me with it. I probably wouldn't be able to manage it as well as I do now if I hadn't been in psych. Yes. Therapy helps. But what helps the most, I believe, is a strong strife for success and betterment. That, and a good support group, of course.

I mean, I've had a strong strife for betterment since day 1. But when I managed to attain a good support group, it just went uphill from there. I continued to grow and flourish in my own way. Even to the point that when my support group disappeared, I still survived. And that's something amazing. That's something I'm proud about myself.

So guys, acknowledge it. Acknowledge you anxiety, accept it, strive to be better, and eventually, the rest would follow, as long as you attain a stable support group. Even simple friends would help. But my biggest advice is, don't keep it for yourself. Because my whole life only started changing when I finally told someone about it. And it changed my life forever.

Don't keep it in. Let it out. Let the world hear you out and let them know how you feel and what you feel. Because you don't know how much the world is going to understand you. You just don't know it. The world is out there, open for you. Take a chance. A leap of faith even. Because that changes everything. It just does. Trust me.