Actualization.

At Psychology, we talk about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The need on the top of the pyramid, as we all know, is the need for self-actualization — unless you consider the revised one that his students created, self transcendence, if I'm not mistaken.

At my young age, I want to believe that I have reached self actualization. I'm sure you're thinking I'm crazy, but I honestly think I'm actualized. You see, in Christian Ethics, we also discussed about this and my professor would ask, "Do you know you're purpose in life? Do you know why God created you?"

I would whisper to myself, "Yes." But my classmates would shout, "No!" They overrule me, of course.

For years, I have wondered about my purpose in life — especially during suicidal thoughts. And I've always come down to one purpose. "God created me to lessen the pain of the people of this world. He created me to absorb all sadness and pain from the people, and I just have to swallow the pain." It's probably not exact as to how God planned it, but it's the same thing nonetheless.

So, purpose, check! Physiological needs, check! Safety needs, check! Love and belongingness... Well, love? I don't know. I think, yes. I feel loved. Not always. But I know it's there. So, check! Esteem needs... Well, I'm insecure about myself, but I know my strengths and weaknesses and I am not ashamed to show it. So, double check! Lastly, self actualization. With full honesty, I know I am self actualized. I am the most damaged and insecure self actualized person in this world.

I think that the best way to be actualized is to know and think that you are. I have my flaws and faults, but it won't stop me from feeling what I want to feel. It won't stop me from being who I want to be.