It's too heartbreaking to learn that the best friend that you love with all your heart, turns out to be the same person who leaves you broken with a bucket of tears.
I didn't know. It felt so surreal that I don't even believe my own ears. He was ignoring me. He was literally trying to get rid of me and I didn't notice because I was too in love with him. I was too in love with my best friend to realize that he was trying to hate me.
He thought that he knew me too well that he could just ignore me. He thought our friendship was thrash and so he treated it that way. How bad could this get?
Did I even mention that while I waited for his every reply when he was purposely ignoring me, he was actually texting every skimpy skank in town?! He's such an asshole and I super hate him for it.
But even with all this hate, I still love him. I still love my best friend and it hurts. It hurts so much.
I cry all the time when we fight because I love him too much. I have a tendency to always think negatively, so every time we fight, I literally have a scene going on in my mind that he's walking away from me. It makes me scared.
I'm such a messed up girl who truly needs psychiatrict help, but instead, I keep all the messed up part of me hidden. I don't know what that makes me, but when all hell finally breaks lose, I'm not really sure if there would still be a 'me' to worry about.
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